Words

When words have weight, lies are impossible and honesty is fluent.

I’ve been writing and re-writing this post for so long, erasing it and starting over. It is so hard to find the words that express my feelings on it whilst giving the topic justice. Hopefully, once you’ve finished reading this, you’ll understand exactly why.

Words are the gateway to who you are. Your essence. They make up your thoughts which circulate within you enough times to drive everything you do. What you do becomes second nature – your habits. You are your mind if it had been given legs. With time that becomes how you are seen by the world. It’s your reputation and as the old proverb suggests, it is your destiny.

The trouble I’ve been having lately is noticing just how often people throw words around like loose change – without any regard for how they’re being received on the other end, or how the person themselves is being perceived. Though if words did cost to be spoken, perhaps today I’d be writing something entirely different. Other times, it is not the words chosen, but the alternate message between them that tells you everything about the person.

I met someone recently who presented themselves in a beautiful light, using exactly the right words to do so. All calming and reflective. Every word they chose wove together with the next into a soft plaited string that wrapped around me, drawing me in. It was to my disbelief when suddenly all the actions that followed had defied all the words before them, leaving them nullified. The once delightful strand was now a rugged noose.

What they did was completely unaligned with everything they had said. Not only had it discredited their words, but it dishonoured who they were as a person. Even their lifelong work came across as insincere and all rose-tinted views of them darkened. More than the hurt it caused, it stunned me that someone could value so little of their own words. Did they not care about how they came across?

It made me think of my own and how nonchalant I can be in choosing them. Perhaps I too have made the mistake of not being able to follow them through. Maybe I have also been perceived in an unwanted light, meanwhile being completely oblivious.

It made me think of everything we think, everything we feel, what we choose to say and what we choose not to.

How easy it is to be seen as someone who is congruent and truthful, when we are in line with what we say. And how easy it is to be someone that can’t be counted on when actions tell a different story. All of that from a mere salad of letters bunched together in our choosing.

It made me think of how difficult it then is to change the image we have sewn to our body like skin. The only way to reverse it is to show candour by realigning consistently. It could take years to undo each thread until the world can see us as the truthful, meaningful people we can be.

The thing is, words can create love between people and they can break souls apart forever. They can accompany the gentle twirl of a finger through your hair or the harsh strike that leaves a permanent mark on your skin and a dent on your heart. And unlike a scar that can heal, once words escape our lips, they can’t be unsaid.

They can mean nothing or they can mean everything.

Words may be free but we should strive to give them weight. Their value comes from the person behind them and what worth they choose to put in.

Indeed, I hope I have chosen the right words to express their infinite depth, alongside my love for them and my fear.

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